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Posted On 08/14/2017 | Last Updates On 08/14/2017 | admin

Read The First Review of My Undead Mother-in-law Here

First Review of My Undead Mother-in-law
Get your “My Undead Mother-in-law” book by clicking here

Although My Undead Mother-in-law just launched August 5th, the First Review of My Undead Mother-in-law appeared on Goodreads and Book Pleasures. Written by Dr. Wesley Britton, who also reviewed Zombie Turkeys last January, he accurately describes the nature of the book.

You don’t want to follow the link to the review? The review text follows next.

First Review of My Undead Mother-in-law – Complete Text

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Posted On 08/13/2017 | Last Updates On 08/13/2017 | admin

Paranormal Animal Author Portrayed: Andy Zach

Perhaps you haven’t heard: Andy Zach, THE Paranormal Animal Author Portrayed by four different interviews. Here’s the first one, from August 4th:

The original interview is at the Working Title Blogspot. Check it out by clicking on this link.

The other interviews follow in reverse time order.

Paranormal Animal Author Portrayed: Part 2

Then there was this televised interview on WMBD Channel 31 in Peoria on August 1st.

These were in advance of my release of My Undead Mother-in-law on August 5th.

Paranormal Animal Author Portrayed
Get your “My Undead Mother-in-law” book by clicking here

Paranormal Animal Author Portrayed: Part 3

Then there was this previous blog post:

This is from Mackenzie Flohr’s blog, click here to go directly. This was published July 30th.

Paranormal Animal Author Portrayed: Part 4

No interview would be complete without my original video interview with the Midley Beacon in 2016:

 

 

This interview, when published on the Midley Beacon, led that paper’s website in audience hits for over five minutes!

Paranormal Animal Author Portrayed: What’s Next?

I had a detailed online interview by Jessie Sanders on July 31st. Here’s a portion of her email, telling you when you can listen to it:

your episode of Jessie’s Coffee Shop has been scheduled for: Fri, August 25, 9pm et.

You can go here to listen to her podcast interviewing me, Andy Zach, by clicking here.

Finally, When Did Your Writing Habit Begin, Andy?

Way back in elementary school!  In third and fourth grade, for English, we would write creative stories. I loved that! Later, in middle school (junior high, as it was called then) I wrote a humorous story about the Cleveland Indians winning the World Series. It was called, “The Rise in the Fall of the Cleveland Indians”.

Paranormal Animal Author Portrayed
Andy Zach, 6th-grade school photo

Then in high school, I wrote another comedy, “Gasso: the Thing from the Fume Hood”. That was my first paranormal animal work.

In college, I took a class in satire. What a delight! I wrote a parody of Barbara Cartland, a romance author who was wildly popular.

Sadly, I put aside my writing for thirty-seven years as I worked as a programmer, systems analyst, project manager, and Six Sigma Black Belt. I wrote a lot: I wrote non-fiction training manuals and many Bible studies, and a complete harmony of the gospels. But no paranormal animal parodies–until now.

First, on October 31st, 2016 I published Zombie Turkeys:

Get Midnight Zombie Turkeys Books Free Tonight!
Zombie Turkeys Print Cover. Click to download

Then, on August 5, 2017, I published My Undead Mother-in-law:

This will make you laugh
Click here to get the print copy of My Undead Mother-in-law.

And that catches you up with my writing history! Until next time, this is Andy Zach, signing off!

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Posted On 08/06/2017 | Last Updates On 08/06/2017 | admin

You will get free books if . . . you check this out

‘This’ is the Andy Zach at Barnes and Noble author appearance. How will you get free books? Read and find out!

First, I, Andy Zach signed books and chatted with fans from 1 to 3 PM at Barnes and Noble in Peoria.

Here was the setting before the press of excited Zombie Turkeys fans closed in around the table:

get free books
Scene of Andy Zach’s book signing at Barnes and Noble in Peoria

People came by and I signed volume 1 of my Life After Life Chronicles Zombie Turkeys.

get free books
Zombie Turkeys print book. Click to download.

Some fans asked me about volume 2, My Undead Mother-in-law, which is also available at Amazon.

get free books

Click to download the book.

Several people asked me what inspired me to write these books. For Zombie Turkeys I said simply, “We fried a turkey and ate it. Around the dinner table someone said, ‘What if the turkey came back to life?’  ‘A zombie turkey!'”

“That thought thrilled me. What if turkeys came back to life as zombies? What a perfect way to satirize the whole zombie genre! So I wrote Zombie Turkeys in November 2015 for NaNoMo, national novel in November month. Click to find out more.”

What about My Undead Mother-in-law? And how do we get free books?

Wouldn’t you like to know! Where Zombie Turkeys focuses on zombie turkeys, in My Undead Mother-in-law I ask and answer the eternal question, “What should I do if my in-laws are zombies?”

Let’s start with the famous undead mother-in-law herself, Diane Newby.

get free books
Diane Newby, hosting her children for dinner.

Here’s Diane’s description from My Undead Mother-in-law:

“You know I love your mother. But your mother’s a zombie. Who wants to see one zombie, let alone four of them?”
“Now that’s not fair. Mom and Dad have adjusted to their zombiism very well. Mom still volunteers at church and bakes cookies and pies for the bake sales.”

Diane greeted us at the door. “Hello, my love!” She hugged Karen.

Karen barely flinched as she looked into her mother’s bright-red eyes. But she grunted “Ugh!” at the force of her embrace.

“Ease up, Mom.”

“Oh, sorry.”

“Hello, Mom,” I said as I hugged her as hard I as could.

She hugged me back twice as hard.

“Ugh,” I grunted too.

Diane still had blond-highlighted brown hair, as she did when I first met her. She’d gained a pound or two though. She smelled of the body talc White Linen. I recognized it because Karen and I bought it for her birthday last year, pre-zombie. And she still wore her cat-eye reading glasses on a chain around her neck.”

No doubt you want to know more about Diane and her offspring. Next, I’ll tell you how to get my books for free.

Get free books by doing this

What do you think? Sacrifice your first born child? No. A chicken? No. A turkey? A good guess, but no.

You just have to write to me and promise to review my book, either Zombie Turkeys or My Undead Mother-in-law. Heck, you can cut and paste someone else’s review! Here they are, click here.

You can contact me here (click) and make your review promise. Or you can follow the next instructions.

But Andy, I don’t like to write! How can I get free books?

Glad you asked! Here is the final way you can get free books. Sign up for my newsletter. Each month I give away a free book to one of my subscribers. Just click here and enter your email.

That’s all for now!

This will make you laugh
Click here to get the print copy of My Undead Mother-in-law.

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Posted On 08/04/2017 | Last Updates On 08/04/2017 | admin

New Zombie Turkeys Amazon Review

Amazing Amazon! A New Zombie Turkeys Amazon Review just appeared. Here’s the link: https://www.amazon.com/gp/customer-reviews/R3RRVS80HM1XCZ/ref=cm_cr_dp_d_rvw_ttl?ie=UTF8&ASIN=B01LXPR63Z

But I don’t want you to have to click on the link. I’m proud to have this review of my book, Zombie Turkeys.

New Zombie Turkeys Amazon Review
Zombie Turkeys print book. Click to download.

New Zombie Turkeys Amazon Review, Quoted

Here you have the review:

5.0 out of 5 stars Zombie turkey takeover., August 2, 2017
Verified Purchase(What’s this?)
This review is from: Zombie Turkeys: How an Unknown Blogger Fought Unkillable Turkeys (The Life After Life Chronicles Book 1) (Kindle Edition)
Zombie turkey takeover.
This was a really cute book about turkeys turning zombie due to an infection that initially started in wild turkeys and spread to turkey farms. Due to genetic mutations in these zombie turkeys, they become wildly aggressive and kill anything they can spur or peck to death. Trouble is they can’t be killed easily. They can grow back heads, limbs, etc. and the flocks keep growing and growing. This becomes a great story for a reporter named Sam of the Midley Beacon. He and his editor Lisa chase the growing flocks of zombie turkeys that are coming from Illinois farms to get stories on the havoc they are wrecking. Lots of people are killed and through trial and error people discover that fire and salt water can stave off these flocks of fury. But despite efforts to contain and kill these turkeys, the numbers keep growing until the national guard is called in to help exterminate this epidemic. The author crafted a pretty good story as to how the turkeys became infected and wove in a bit of romance here and there. All in all it was a good read but it didn’t tie up as nicely as one would hope at the end but that’s because there is a book two.

 

Go Here for the Sequel My Undead Mother-in-law

Here’s the book:

author interview
New Book Coming! Get It by clicking here!

And here’s the party! The launch party goes from 9 AM to 5 PM Central (Chicago) time.

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Posted On 08/03/2017 | Last Updates On 08/03/2017 | admin

Two Weekend Book Events for You – Don’t Miss Them

What are these Two Weekend Book Events for You? First, there is the My Undead Mother-in-law Facebook Launch Party. From anywhere and everywhere around the world people will pile into the party room–virtually.

Fantasy and Science Fiction authors will each host an hour of fun from 9 AM Central to 5 PM. I will give away four copies of my first book in the Life After Life Chronicles, Zombie Turkeys, and four copies of My Undead Mother-in-law, one each hour. Who knows what the other authors will do? Expect mayhem, quizzes, games, and free books!

two weekend book events
Get your “My Undead Mother-in-law” book by clicking here

What’s Next for Two Weekend Book Events?

This is the Big One: an actual, in-the-flesh appearance by the man himself, Andy Zach.

You read that right: Andy will sign both Zombie Turkeys and My Undead Mother-in-law at Barnes and Noble in Peoria.

What Are Zombie Turkeys Doing?
Zombie Turkeys print book. Click to download.

You don’t know if Andy is someone you ought to see? Check out this video of him from WMBD Channel 31.

 http://www.centralillinoisproud.com/news/living-well/this-week-at-barnes-noble-meet-andy-zach/780405016

Or, you can run his official interview with the paper made famous in Zombie Turkeys, The Midley Beacon:

Is That All There Is? Two Weekend Book Events?

That would be no! We have another book event and author appearance coming up in the metropolis of Chillicothe, Illinois.

If Peoria is too big and bustling for you to go there, go to the quiet town of Chillicothe the following week. It was the site of a bloody scene in Zombie Turkeys, but don’t worry–no zombie turkeys are there now.

Two weekend book events
Zombie Turkey, “I’m not in Chillicothe! Really!”

Chillicothe straddles Rt 29 and nestles next to the Illinois river. It’s next to the burgs of Lacon and Sparland, and about ten miles north of Peoria. At 2,000 people, Chilli is bigger than Midley, Illinois (population 512), but smaller than Peoria (110,000).

Andy will be just as alive there as he is in Peoria. And he will sign your books and answer your questions about his books, writing, and self publishing.

I look forward to seeing you!

Two Weekend Book Events
Andy Zach thanks you for reading his blog!

 

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Posted On 07/30/2017 | Last Updates On 07/30/2017 | admin

This author interview will make you laugh!

I’m busier than a zombie turkey trying to scratch out your eye with one leg torn off and the week just began! I had an author interview yesterday with Mackenzie Flohr (click to go to her blog).

In the interview, I discuss my newest novel, My Undead Mother-in-law.

author interview
New Book Coming! Get It by clicking here!

Here comes another author interview

Sharp-eyed readers of this blog will remember this event coming up Tuesday, August 1st:

I’ll appear on WMBD channel 31 in Peoria Illinois. Shape the interview yourself. Follow the link to the poll and select the questions you want. Even if your questions don’t get covered in the interview, I’ll answer them for you in the after action report.

Still more author interviews for you!

That poll will be handy for the other interviews that happen this week! On the 31st of July I give an interview for an online blog. That will appear later.

On August 9th you can meet me in person and get your information first hand!  I’ll visit Chillicothe Illinois Public Library to meet fans and sign books.

Then There’s the Big One

author appearance or zombie turkey?
Author appearance or zombie turkey? Click to download Zombie Turkeys

No, I don’t mean the biggest tom turkey of them all, but me, Andy Zach. The biggest event of the week, the book launch of My Undead Mother-in-law at Barnes and Noble on August 5th in Peoria. Have a photo of my last appearance there.

Free Author Reading
Zombie Turkeys Fly Off the Shelves at Peoria Barnes and Noble Bookstore

And my next appearance is August 5th!

You can’t travel to Peoria? See me on Facebook!

Still happening this week is my Facebook book launch party, August 4th. Anyone from anywhere in the world can attend. Click on this link below:

Finally, faithful readers, take a deep breath. Enjoy this My Undead Mother-in-law reading by yours truly, Andy Zach.

 

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Posted On 07/27/2017 | Last Updates On 07/27/2017 | admin

Get Your Free Zombie Turkeys Book – Click Within An Hour!

Here it is. Click the clock or lose your Free Zombie Turkeys book.

Free Zombie Turkeys Book
As you’re looking at this picture, your time is slipping away. Click to download.

Take it from the Steve Miller band:

You have been warned!

Besides Free Zombie Turkeys Book, Do You Have Any Other Free Books?

You bet! Every week I send out my newsletter with free fantasy book offers. I don’t guarantee they’re as good as Zombie Turkeys or My Undead Mother-in-law, but they’re free. Click here, enter your email, and you’ll get some this week.

Free Zombie Turkeys Book News Here!
Read all about Zombie Turkeys each week! Click here.

But that’s not all! Once you join the newsletter, your email is placed in a monthly drawing for your pick of any of my products: Zombie Turkeys, My Undead Mother-in-law, Zombie Turkeys audio book, and Zombie Turkeys Graphic Novel.

My Undead Mother-in-law Breaking News

Now hear this, you turkeys!
Now hear this, you turkeys! Listen to Diane Newby, the undead mother-in-law. Click to get yours!

The mother-in-law has landed! That is, her book, My Undead Mother-in-law (M.U.M.) has arrived at Jule Inc. Those who’ve won free books (four) and who’ve picked M.U.M. will get one. Those who haven’t picked a prize yet, contact me, Andy Zach.

Get your M.U.M! Click here!
Get your M.U.M! Click here!

Got Any More Books Coming Up?

Indeedy do! The third book in the Life After Life Chronicles, my humorous zombie books set in our modern society has the working title Paranormal Patriots. I want to publish it in April 2018.

Research topics I covered for the next book were Somali piracy and letters of marque. Did you know the last letter of marque was issued in 1815 for the ship the Grand Turk, to be used against the Barbary pirates? It was never used since the second Barbary pirate war ended.

Free Zombie Turkeys book
Color picture of US 16th President Lincoln. He almost issued a letter of marque.

Then later on President Lincoln thought of using them against the Confederacy but didn’t. The Confederacy, however, issued letters of marque against the Union.

Finally, Ron Paul introduced bills for letters of marque against Al-Qaida in 2001 and 2007. In 2010, a Navy lawyer researched the plausibility of letters of marque against modern pirates and concluded it was a good idea.

What do you think? Respond in the comments or by email.

Signing off,

Andy

Free Zombie Turkeys Book
Andy’s autographed picture

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Posted On 07/26/2017 | Last Updates On 07/26/2017 | admin

This will make you laugh  – if you do this!

Zombie Turkeys – the only comic paranormal urban fantasy – will make you laugh. But only if you do this one thing.

This will make you laugh
Free Kindle edition of “Zombie Turkeys”. Click to download.

Quick! Click the picture above of the zombie turkey and download Zombie Turkeys for free from Kindle on Amazon! The offer ends TOMORROW!

Tired of the same old zombie books, TV, and movies? Try Zombie Turkeys before you lose the chance at a free book!

Turkeys are funny, but not scary. Zombies are scary but not funny. Have both with Zombie Turkeys.

Oh, and if you like romance, there are three romances within the book.

Get it now, before it’s too late! CLICK HERE!

Wait One Minute – Prove Zombie Turkeys will make you laugh

No problem! I’ve got tons of proof Zombies Turkeys will make you laugh. First, let’s start here:

 

Not enough? Are you barely smiling? How about this next video?

 

Do you want more? I have more funny videos, like the third Zombie Turkeys excerpt following:

 

Maybe you’re interested in my next book

Zombie Turkeys is just volume 1 of the Life After Life Chronicles. Volume 2 is My Undead Mother-in-law, availabe on Kindle right now:

make you laugh
Get your “My Undead Mother-in-law” book by clicking here

If you want the print edition, click on the back cover below:

This will make you laugh
Click here to get the print copy of My Undead Mother-in-law.

Here’s Andy Reading My Undead Mother-in-law

Do You Have Any Other Wonderful Books?

Yes! But they’re works in process.

First, there’s volume 3 of Life After Life Chronicles, named Paranormal Patriots. We continue the saga of zombies in the world against them.

Next, there’s the audio edition of Zombie Turkeys. If you liked me reading excerpts, just imagine the whole book read aloud with professional recording equipment. The mind boggles.

Finally, there is the upcoming first issue of the Zombie Turkeys Graphic Novel. I know it seems too good to be true, but it may be here by October!

Don’t miss a single news item! Become a subscriber now to our newsletter! CLICK FOR LAUGHS!

That’s all for now!

This will make you laugh
Andy: dressy casual

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Posted On 07/25/2017 | Last Updates On 07/25/2017 | admin

Two Free Books, Two Ways, Only 3 Days Left

No, I haven’t lost my mind. You can get Two Free Books, today, in exchange for two clicks.

The first click is on the Zombie Turkeys Free Kindle promotion below. Just download it now:

Two Free Books for 3 more days
Free Kindle edition of “Zombie Turkeys”. Click to download.

The second click you need to get a free ebook copy of My Undead Mother-in-law is below. After clicking, fill in your email address to send me an email agreeing to review My Undead Mother-in-law. I’ll send you a copy of My Undead Mother-in-law and also add you to our mailing list.

Two Free Books

Here’s Another Way to Get Two Free Books

If you don’t want to review and you don’t want e-books, but free paperbacks, I’ve got you covered!
Simply join me in our weekly newsletter and you’ll be automatically entered in our monthly drawing. Aside from paperback copies of Zombie Turkeys and My Undead Mother-in-law, we’ll also offer copies of the first Zombie Turkeys audiobook and the Zombie Turkeys graphic novel issue 1.

Didn’t you know we had a Zombie Turkeys graphic novel? Check out the next section.

You Can Get A Free Copy of the Zombie Turkeys Graphic Novel, Issue 1

Here is the cover:

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Posted On 07/24/2017 | Last Updates On 07/24/2017 | admin

Free Zombie Turkeys Before It’s Too Late!

It’s never too late for zombie turkeys to show up; they’re diurnal. But in four days it’ll be too late for Free Zombie Turkeys. Click the book cover below to get it now.

Free Zombie Turkeys Before It's Too Late!
Free Kindle edition of “Zombie Turkeys”. Click to download.

Don’t Want Free Zombie Turkeys in a Poke?

Have a taste of Zombie Turkeys, read by your’s truly, Andy Zach, on my Youtube channel.

 

But Don’t Take Andy’s Word for Free Zombie Turkeys

Check out some of the eight glowing Amazon reviews laughing readers have given it since its publication last October 31st.

1 of 1 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars This one is definitely NOT a turkey!, July 18, 2017
By
This review is from: Zombie Turkeys: How an Unknown Blogger Fought Unkillable Turkeys (The Life After Life Chronicles Book 1) (Kindle Edition)

‘He felt great. He was full of energy, he had many hens to breed with, and he was the leader of a great flock.’

Sam Melvin is a reporter with the Midley Beacon, it’s a tiny local paper – with an online presence – run by its penny-pinching editor Lisa Kambacher. When Sam sees the two turkey hunters on the slab in the local mortuary, he knows he has a story to cover and he sets out to do so with great gusto. As the zombie turkeys multiply, Sam and Lisa are the leading media team on the ground and the Midley Beacon goes international, solving their financial woes and syndicating their work across the globe. But it’s not all good news. After all, there are those people-killing zombie turkeys heading into town…

This was a book I picked up with trepidation as it seemed all too possible it would be a ‘one trick pony’ stretching a single joke to beyond breaking point across the length of an entire novel. Wrong! It is like a bowl of potpourri on the sideboard of life – lots of subtle blending examples of humour – many of them very American so I suspect there were even more than I noticed, handicapped by my British perspective. This is a book that takes ironic comedy to a whole new level – maybe ‘steelic’ comedy…? Humour is a very personal thing, but this book hit me right on the funny bone.

‘Wanted badly: .30-06 carbine. Will trade hunting dog or wife for it.’

This is a well-written book which takes a totally deadpan approach to a thoroughly – hysterically – funny sequence of events. It is dark comedy, so avoid if you are squeamish. The pace of the book rolls along in a perfect, unhurried way – screaming up into the action sequences and taking time to enjoy the more delicious moments of humour.

The story itself is a lot deeper than many real zombie books and the explanation for the zombie phenomenon is as clever as it is satirical.The characters are well portrayed, deep enough to engage with and care about, but not so deep you get distracted from what they are doing by their personalities. They are the agents through which we see the events unfolding rather than the focus of the story. But the humour is subtle, all-pervading: like the idea of the survivalist organic turkey farmer, part of a network of such, living off grid – except for ordering things from Amazon on his wife’s credit card of course…

‘The most disheartening thing was, she’d stab one through the heart, it’d drop fifteen feet to the ground with a satisfying thud, and then it’d stagger to its feet five minutes later and fly back up fifteen minutes later.’

The downside is that maybe some of the humour is lost on a non-US reader. There were a couple of moments I thought ‘Huh?’ then decided it was probably a reference to something outside my cultural parameters. The only other criticism I had was that it maybe played the theme along a tiny bit too far and perhaps had a few scenes been a bit shorter, a bit less detail on the way the plague spread, or a couple of turkey attacks left out – it might have been a sharper read. But these are very minor nit-picks against the whole.This is a book I can recommend wholeheartedly to anyone who enjoys slow-boil satire and does not mind a few gory giblets thrown in the mix. If you want a good comedy read, you should gobble this up!

Did Someone Say “Gobble”?

Watch another video of a gobbling turkey:

Next, take a gander at this one:

What Can Top Free Zombie Turkeys?

Maybe some cranberry sauce? How about a sequel, My Undead Mother-in-law? You can get it on Kindle by clicking here:

Andy Zach TV Version for "My Undead Mother-in-law" Launch
New Book Coming! Get It by clicking here!

Or you can have a print book shipped to you by clicking on the chapter icon below:

My Undead Mother-in-law, Chapter 5 Icon
My Undead Mother-in-law, Chapter 5 Icon

 

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